“i know,
all beautiful places
are prone to natural disaster.
but being swallowed
by the earth in manila
beats a slow death
in the Midwest.” –Broken Crow“A whore ain’t goin’ to love you, unless you give her your money.”
Someone has to kick the Micky Mouse out of our heads. Not that I believe that Walt Disney has brought on the deterioration of the American society at large, but that we all seem to want to live in a magical fantasy land where everything comes out our way in the end. A fantasy land where everyone has their own happy ending.
Stories with happy endings are pulling the proverbial wool over our eyes and it seems to me that no one wants to hear what happened to Cinderella or Snow White six or seven years down the line. Afterall, what could go wrong with a girl that marries a guy after one date and a girl who goes off with a guy that goes around looking to kiss sleeping chicks with midgets. No one wants to think about that. To get our minds off that track, the narrator tosses in a little blurp about “living happily ever after” and they roll the credits. As if it was all just an after-thought.
I am lucky enough to say I have experienced a fairy tale twice in my life. Whoopee!
I guess I shouldn’t really say I experienced them myself. I should say that their outcomes influenced my life to progress down the path to a certain ending. In short, the fairy tale that pulled some strings in my life goes as follows: Prince Charming showed up drunk on my now exgirlfriend’s doorstep which lead to me sleeping on the couch and then later she made out with a strange frog that wasn’t a prince in a bar. Whoopee!
The Germans end their fairy tales with: Wenn sie noch nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute. My translation of that is this: Well, if they aren’t dead, then they are still alive today.
Nothing about being happy.
Nada.
Zilch.
I guess the Germans idea of a Happy Ending to a movie is that Hitler kills himself at the end of der Untergang. Whoopee!
There was no real happy ending to World War II, it seems to me. The Nazis killed over 6 million Jews, we dropped the atomic bomb on Japan killing anywhere between 150,000-246,000 people (including women and children), and German bicycles were being crashed all over Germany by Russians who didn’t know how to ride bikes. Whoopee!
All of these facts and more can be found at your local library or Borders bookstore.
I guess that and the fact that a bill to get rid of unions and cut the wages of cops, firefighters, and teachers can be voted on and passed on to the House is kind of depressing to me. When it is brought up, people just seem to say la-de-da and drool on themselves. Not a goddamn care in the world.
Maybe people should care just one iota more. Maybe they would care one iota more if they knew their children are posting on facebook that their religion is “evolution” and their political view is either “Obama iz cooolz” or “boring”. This is the world we live in. Kids think the opposite of being a Christian is believing in evolution and politics is simply either hating the president or thinking he is cool or boring. Future generations will probably believe that since Americans hate the French that we took their gift of a giant metal statue of a woman and placed it in the sewer waters of New Jersey.
Hey, I have beer in the fridge. Whoopee!
***
Anyway, that was my rant. I got to say horrible things about Disney, children, Russians, Nazis, and my ex. And I wrote something. Tune in next time for whatever I haven’t thought up yet.
Love as always,
Kurt Doonesbury
Kurt "Paparazzo Martin" Doonesbury
